Chapter 6: SUPERHEROES

My friend Juan Tabagwang and I were forgiven by our dear, pretty waitress friend, Maria D'Kapri, for giving her a 5 cent tip. So, we were back again in the same old tavern we used to go to for the past many years. By the way, the name of the tavern is the Tomadors' Tavern. It is the hangout of lazy drunken artists who have nothing better to do than philosophize, or make simple things complicated and complicated things simple. This time we were drinking six bottles of "agua de pataranta", a strong drink. Funny, last time we drank five bottles. Our drinking of the "agua" was increasing every time we met.

Anyway, after becoming tipsy, Juan proudly told me about the first issue of his superhero comics. "You know ... my editor loved my Super-Butt," he said. "We got a lot of great comments about my story and artwork."

"That's great!" I exclaimed. "Good work! Keep it up and you'll be like the great artist Sik Sikat someday." Then I asked him, "What's the power of Super-Butt?"

"Oh, he just flattens his enemies with his extremely powerful big butt," he said.

I smirked at Juan, trying to control my laughter at his idiotic idea. But, I played along and inquired, "Who are his enemies?"

"Arachnid-Butt, XYZ-Butts, Bat-Butt, etc.," he said. Then he burst into loud laughter. The drunks around us overheard him and they also laughed.

"See," Juan said, "they like my funny Super-Butt."

But one of the drunks, a big bully, who sat near our table, said, "No, you are funnier, butt-head!" Then he made an irritating chuckle.

"Ignore him," I told Juan. "He's too big for the both of us."

But Juan felt insulted. To divert his attention from the big bully, I asked, "Do you know where and when the idea of superheroes started?"

"I have no idea where and when it all started," Juan said, "or why many are fascinated by this superhero thing. Do you?"

"Yes!" I answered. "This superhero idea started a long, long time ago. It was recorded in a Sumerian mythological epic, called 'The Epic of Gilgamesh', about 2700 B.C. Gilgamesh was a superman, half-man and half-god. He was a legendary hero of Sumeria."

"Interesting," Juan said as his face brightened and he began to show great inquisitiveness. "Tell me more!"

"But 'The Epic of Gilgamesh' was predated by oral traditions and preserved accounts of Noah by the Hebrew people, which went back to about 4000 B.C." I elaborated. "In about 1500 B.C., Moses compiled these into parts of the Hebrew Scriptures. In Genesis, he wrote about the Nephilims."

"Nephilims!?" Juan suddenly said with curiosity. "First time I've ever heard that word."

"They were the superheroes of the ancient world, before the Great Flood," I explained. "They were giants, bullies, and very violent. They were the hybrid sterile sons of the wicked rebel angels and the daughters of men. These angels were superbeings who forsook their heavenly realms and made themselves gods on earth."

"Fascinating!" Juan exclaimed. He totally forgot about the big drunk bully in the tavern and asked me to continue.

"The Greeks have similar stories in the 'Iliad' and the 'Odyssey', by Homer. He probably got the idea from Hebrew accounts," I continued. "Remember Achilles?" I asked.

"Yes," Juan answered.

"Achilles was like the Nephilims. He was the Greek superhero of the Trojan War," I said. "He was the son of the god, Zeus, and a mortal woman. Other cultures also have similar stories."

"Very interesting observation!" Juan remarked with a sparkle of keen interest in his eyes. "But tell me, why many are fascinated with god-like superheroes with super powers, and the reason for its comics conception."

"It all started from the story in the Garden of Eden, from Genesis," I explained. "The serpent deceived and seduced Eve and she seduced Adam, by saying that they would become like God."

"Then what?" Juan eagerly inquired.

"Just like Adam and Eve, history is replete of records of people striving for power and immortality, to become just like God," I said. "Similarly, many subscribe to the belief that man comes from nothing to something; from monkey to human, and finally a super being, like God."

Maria passed by our table and picked up the empty bottles of "agua". She sarcastically said, "You two never stop talking about 'moronic' ideas, do you?" We did not answer her, so she left.

"What about these 'moronic' ideas?" Juan said jestingly. "I mean...what then?"

"What she meant was that they were brilliant," I remarked as I looked sideways at Juan, and laughed. "Nevertheless, just like Adam and Eve, who did not become like God, the same is true for everybody. Though frustrated, but still the desires for power and immortality lingers in the subconscious mind of many. So, some vented their frustrations by conceiving a make-believe world in comics. Consequently, they resurrected the idea of superheroes with superpowers like God. Then they called themselves creators, just like the Creator God. And others, with similar subconscious desires and frustrations, are delighted by their god-like superheroes with superpowers."

"Now I get it!" exclaimed Juan. "Obviously, the fascination with god-like superheroes with superpowers are just the facade of their frustrations. Heh heh!" Then he added, "They really are going to hate your 'moronic' or brilliant ideas."

"I know. Nonetheless, you and I, to some extent, are one of them," I said. "But the difference is that we and many others are fascinated and just do these superhero things for a living and fun."

"Still, it's scary!" Juan said. "Imagine, I also wanted to be called a creator, remember?"

But before I could say anything, the big drunk bully suddenly butted into our conversation again, and said, "Yeah, it is scary butt-head!" And then he let out a derisive laughter.

"Ignore him," I said. "There is nothing to be gained if you put up with his kind."

Juan is really pissed off with the bully. "He thinks he's a big superhero, but the bigger they are, the harder they fall," he whispered. "Who knows, I could clobber him like David clobbered the Philistines' superhero, Goliath, you know."

"He's like Goliath, but you're no David, Juan," I said, in a very low voice, trying to remind him.

The big bully overheard us. He lunged and grabbed Juan's shirt and raised him off the floor. "So you want to fight me, pip-squeak?" he arrogantly asked.

I tried to pacify the big bully to let go of Juan. "He's just kidding. He doesn't mean it," I said.

The big bully also grabbed me by my shirt and threw me like a rag across the floor. I made a loud thud.

"Stop it!" Maria said in a commanding voice. "If the three of you want to rumble, do it outside!"

However, the big bully pushed Maria away. This angered her. She then pulled the bully toward her and gave him a powerful uppercut. It sent the bully upward, then down, crashing toward the floor on his stomach, flat and cold.

Maria wiped her hands as she dismissively looked sideways through the corner of her eye at the bully. "Don't ever, ever push me again!" she shouted.

What Maria did was really impressive. It scared Juan, who gave her a very big tip. The other drunks in the tavern did the same. From then on, Maria was called Super Maria D'Kapri, or Super Kapre for short.

It was already very late when we left the tavern. Along the way, Juan curiously inquired, "You're the only one who did not give Maria a tip. Why?"

"If I did she would be very happy," I said. "She looks prettier when she's angry, right?"

"You're reeeaaally nuts!" Juan remarked.

"Again, it's the side effect of the agua," I reasoned.

"Ouch!" I said, as I was suddenly hit by an empty can thrown from out of nowhere. I looked around. More empty cans and bottles rained down upon us, followed by cursing, the howling of dogs, and the meowing of cats.

"Ouch! Agh! C'mon, cut it out!" I yelled. "We haven't sung our superhero song yet."

But still more empty bottles, cans, and now rocks were thrown at us, along with more cursing, and louder howling and meowing from the dogs and cats. We had to run away super fast. That night we had lots of bruises.