Chapter 9: THE ABSOLUTE ART
It had been a while when Kurso and his pitbull chased us. I had assumed that he had forgotten the rock I threw at his house. So, my friend Juan Tabagwang and I were back again at Tomadors' Tavern. After nine bottles of "agua de pataranta" we talked about a very difficult topic. It was about the artist's dream of the possibility of creating the most beautiful art ever, the absolute art.
It all started after I drank another glass of "agua", when Juan asked, "I bet it tastes good?"
"Are you kidding me?" I answered back. "You know that it tastes exquisite in our palate. But once in our stomach, it rumbles like a volcano. It sucks!"
"But the look on your face shows absolute contentment," Juan said. "The outside betrays the inside, huh!?"
"Correct!" I agreed with Juan. Then I took a bottle of "agua de pataranta" and looked at it. "This drink is definitely going to burn us someday," I said.
"But we love to drink it," Juan remarked. "And it's like the love of an artist for his artwork. Initially he is full of exquisite inspirations, only to find out in the end that his work sucks. And some eventually 'burn' themselves figuratively to oblivion."
I looked at Juan as I grinned. "You never stop to amaze me with your incredible comparison," I said.
"And I also never stop trying to achieve the most beautiful artwork ever," Juan added. Then he asked, "How about you?"
"Nope!" I replied. "I never tried because I believe in the philosophical idea that beauty, in art or whatever, is the standard by which ugly things are measured. That is, by comparison, the greater the beauty of a thing, it lessens the greater ugliness of the other. Similarly, the less beautiful the thing is, the less ugly other things are compared to it. Eventually, at a certain point, what is beautiful and ugly becomes one, implying that the most beautiful thing is also the ugliest.
Juan's face portrayed a blank look of confusion. He could not comprehend the philosophical idea I just articulated. So I simplified it.
"Either all are beautiful, or all are beautiful and ugly, or all are ugly," I explained. "It depends on how you look at things. If you choose to believe the first possibility, then you can say that just like the flowers in a garden, anyone is the fairest of them all-all are beautiful. In other words, Juan, every artwork you conceived, or any artist's artwork, is the most beautiful."
"Okay. Granted that you are right," Juan said. Then he asked, "But have you ever found the most beautiful thing ever, unchangeable by time, and lasting for all eternity?"
Juan's question was now in the realm of the absolute. I gave him an appropriate poetic reply,
"I have found it.
In the labyrinth of the perfect and sublime.
I have seen it.
Its beauty is beyond description.
My brush is unworthy to paint it.
My canvas cannot contain it.
And I have lost it.
In the wilderness of my dream."
"So, you're implying that the absolute exists," Juan commented, "but only among the perfect and sublime, and in our dreams."
Before I could say anything to Juan, Maria D'Kapri, or Super Kapre as she is popularly called, dropped by to check on us. "Wasting your time again talking about idiotic things," Maria said. "You two never change. You guys are really incorrigible, absolute fools."
"Maria, I agree with you," I remarked. Then I elaborated to her the philosophical meanings of the 'absolute' and 'change.' "The absolute never change, but it causes change. And change cannot cause something to attain the absolute because there's an infinite of transformations and an eternity just to reach the threshold of the absolute. Moreover, if there's no absolute, there's no change. Besides, change implies imperfection".
My mistake, she didn't like philosophy. "Spare me you absolute philosophical foolishness," she remarked. "You're not only an absolute fool; you're also a perfect absolute fool through and through!" She then left us abruptly and looked at me through the corner of her eye with disdain for my philosophical idea.
Juan burst with laughter. Then he said, "Maria proves you wrong. An absolute does exist, not only among the perfect and sublime, and in our dreams."
"You're right Juan, the absolute does exist among us," I said with a mischievous smile of assent.
"Aside from you being the absolute fool, I bet the absolute art exists also?" Juan teasingly asked.
"I need an actual demonstration to show it to you," I replied. "Right now I'm too drunk. You pay for our 'agua', Juan."
"Why me again!?" Juan asked, slightly annoyed.
"Because Maria said that I am an absolute fool, an absolute fool doesn't change his habit of not paying," I replied. "Besides, I have no money."
Juan grudgingly obliged and reached for his wallet. "Omigosh!" he exclaimed. "I accidentally left my wallet at home." He became very uncomfortable as he looked around and didn't know what to do.
"Definitely, Maria will not let us wash dishes this time," I said flippantly. "This time she is going to give each of us an uppercut. Anyway, you order a steak."
"What!?" Juan asked, his eyes wide open with disbelief. "This is serious! Are you kidding!?"
"I'm not, I need time," I replied. "Just do what I told you." I then picked up my canvas and oil paints in a box which happened to be with me during that time.
"What are you going to do?" Juan asked again. This time he was really nervous.
"Just get that order of steak from Maria. I'm going to do an oil portrait of her," I answered.
Juan called Maria and ordered a steak while I painted her. I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible so as not to arouse her curiosity as I looked at her once in a while. After a short time, Maria served the steak before us. Juan ate all of it, possibly due to fear of Maria or hunger. At the same time I finished the portrait.
Juan tried to hide under the table when I called Maria. I showed her the portrait oil painting. I said, "Maria, I did this painting just for you as a token of our appreciation for putting up with our folly all this time."
Initially, Maria was suspicious, but when she looked at her portrait, her face lit up with absolute satisfaction and delight. She then showed it to all the drunks in the tavern. All exclaimed in admiration. She then came back to us.
"Thank you very much," Maria said with a great smile on her face. "How much will it cost me?"
"Nothing!" I replied.
"I won't take it for free!" Maria insisted. "In return your orders are on the house. I'll cover for it."
"That includes our tip?" I asked.
"Yes, yes!" she answered.
"And how about additional free agua?"
Maria gave me a very sharp look and then said, "Don't push your luck too far!" But she left us absolutely glad.
I turned to Juan, who raised his head up from under the table and made a deep sigh of relief.
"That painting, Juan, is a good example of an absolute art," I explained. "It captures the beauty of Maria in a brief moment of time. She will change and grow old. I will change, and so will you. But that portrait of Maria's beauty will last a long time. Also, it satisfies one of her innermost desires, it makes her absolutely happy."
It was very late, past midnight, when we left the tavern. We were jolly, due to the effect of the "agua", as we walked the dark, same, old street we always passed by. As usual, we sung our broken and irritating drunken song of absolute art when we passed by the house of Kurso, the Great. But after we finished singing, I stopped walking because I noticed that there was no cursing from Kurso and also no howling and meowing of his dogs and cats.
"Let's go back," I said to Juan.
"For what?" Juan curiously inquired.
I did not answer him. We went back to the house of Kurso. I picked up three big rocks and hurled it, one after the other, to the wooden door of his house. The rocks made terrible crashing sounds. Kurso shouted his cursing and profanities. Also, his dogs and cats howled and meowed.
"Run Juan, quick!" I exclaimed while I was running very fast. However, Juan ran faster.
"You really are an absolute fool!" Juan remarked. "And what you did is absolute stupidity."
"Blame it on the absolute drink, agua," I reasoned.
However, this time Kurso chased us with his Doberman. The dog bounded past me and bit Juan's butt. He ended up in the hospital with a lot of stitches on his butt.
"Why did the dog pass you and bite me instead?" Juan asked.
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