Chapter 1: YOUR COMIC ILLUSTRATION SUCKS!

There are three things any artist must strive to do to figure out why his comic illustration or his artwork sucks. To find out what are these three things, read my story, which follows:

Many years ago, when I worked as a comic illustrator, a friend of mine, Juan Tabagwang, proudly showed me his comic illustration.

"What do you think?" he asked me.

"Your work is great!" I answered. "It is wonderful! It’s great indeed, fantaaaaastic!"

It really boosted his ego and made him very happy. From then on he kept showing me his artwork, expected me to praise it, and give comments that would tickle his ears.

Once we drank over a bottle of "agua de pataranta.” By the way, "agua de pataranta" is a kind of drink. "Agua" is water, and "pataranta" is "to make confused." Anyway, let's continue with my story.

After chugging a glass of "agua de pataranta," my friend showed me again his work.

"This is my masterpiece!" he said. "What can you say about it?"

I glanced at it nonchalantly and remarked, "Your comic illustration sucks!"

He was shocked and a look of disbelief flashed on his face. Then he immediately picked up his drawing, and left without saying a word. He was terribly hurt.

After a month, he had forgiven me for what I had said. And again, in a tavern, we drank over a bottle of "agua de pataranta."

"How come my comic illustration sucks?" he asked.

"How come you're asking me?" I asked back. "You know the answer. You'll figure it out."

Quizzically, he looked at me as he scratched his head. I ignored him, and instead I sipped from my glass of "agua de pataranta." But he tried to get even with me.

Probingly, he asked, with a sarcastic tone in his voice, "Does your artwork also suck!?"

"Yes," I answered, "I found out why my artwork sucks a long time ago. But you, you still have to figure it out."

He looked at me through the corner of his eye and tried to glean something out from my answer. He then drank a full glass of "agua" and he turned toward a drunken guy sitting at a table not far from us. He made a stupid remark that actually should have been directed toward me, but he directed it to this guy.

"He's ugly! He sucks!" he said.

"No!" I countered. "He's ok! There's something in him that is very interesting. Look carefully."

"He's really ugly!" He emphasized it by adding, "Looks to me he’s like a frog! Palaka!"

"But the more I look at him, the more he looks like Adonis!" I said.

He turned to me and said, "Something is wrong with your eyes!"

"No, something is wrong with yours. You just drank the "agua" not the "pataranta," and you can't see what I see!" To drive home my point, I added, "Now, you know why I know why my artwork sucks, and you don't know why your artwork sucks! Instead of one, you now have two things to figure out. And there's another one at the end..."

We continued arguing until we emptied the bottle of "pataranta". We left the tavern, but along the way, through a dark alley, we still continued to differ.

"Though I don't know why, your artwork doubly sucks!"

"Yours sucks three times more than mine!" I countered.

"Four times!"

"Five times!"

"Six times!"

"Seven times!"

"Eight times!"

"..................."

"All the times!" he exclaimed.

With finality, I said, "But you must figure out two things, one at a time, and after that it will take you a lifetime!"


Now, what are those three things? YOU, out there, also figure it out!